its time for a post.

title: speech.

body: thank you, mindless inferiors. i thank you so much for this honour that you did not want to bestow upon me and your ever-waning support. (pause for applause) i do apologize if some of you still feel the burns of my slavemaster's whips upon your bare backs, its just that some of you are so SLOW. but at any rate, the pyramids of bekah are now complete and you can go on to living your miserable lives.

as your newly un-elected, self-imposed world ruler, i would like to first clarify that there is absolutely noone hotter on earth than myself. anyone suspected of challenging this will immediately be sentenced to a painful and gruesome death involving vicious hounds and bloodied steaks. i also apologize to those of you who were sentenced to this punishment earlier today only to be met with dachshund puppies and teabags; as we were short of funds and taxes had not yet been imposed; and were forced to leave the Death Chambers very much alive. This will be dealt with shortly, thank you for your understanding.

the second matter at hand is considering the fact that i still do NOT have a throne made of purdy purdy gold and sexy sexy jewels with a FINE plush velvet seat (for my Royal Hiney HEH PUN) on a giant pedestal overlooking my minions, on which i shall have access to through a (very much fictional and ripped-off) Amazing Glass Elevator. If this is not seen to by the third of next month, i shall be forced to give up Asia to G***** W B*** to lead with his amazing leadering leadership (a/n: i knew that. heh) skills. (pause to relish sounds of discontent at the threat)

as of now, my fellow evil cohort, Emma, shall be in charge of the administration of Asia, as i really do need some assitance in the domination ruling of our fair planet. we should all blame her if anything (or everything) goes wrong, it is entirely her fault as she is my ugly scapegoat wise advisor on all matters. also, i wish to thank my mother and the very compliant (after severe prodding with my magic staff) persons on the board of the Oscars/Emmys/Golden Globe/MTV/Nobel panels for ensuring a miss Rebekah Dawn Ba'o Ritchie has swept away every single award up for offer and for giving her neverending support. My heartiest congratulations to miss Rebekah.

Lastly. To that porcupine that i ran over on my way here. I truly am sorry. Let us all have a moment of silence to remember its eventful life.(pause)

(showperson voice) And thank you folks, tune in tomorrow for the full screening of So Your World's Been Dominated? for my full speech on MTV. Now be off to do my bidding. I loves you all!