i'm going to be a bitch here. if you do not like the idea of rebekah being someone who actually has emotions and gets pissed off just like the rest of you, (omg shock horror. always-happy bekah being ANGRY?? god forbid) then fuck off.
i'm am incredibly frustrated with three things.
one: the current situation with one of my best friends in the whole world. let's call her X.
two: how i am being treated by another really close friend of mine, to be called Y.
three: how i am generally treated by most of my 'FRIENDS'
neither X or Y have been particularly wonderful friends recently.
okay. so lets start with X. X is a GREAT friend. really great. Haven't known her for that long, but she really is fantastic. all this time, she's proven herself to be trustworthy and loyal, even when i doubted her. and all of a sudden, after all that loyalty shit, she suddenly decides to turn on me. though her guilt cant be proven, some of my more hidden secrets and everything are spilt for the world to see, getting me and several others into deep shit.
when i questioned X, she claimed not to have said a word, even though her excuses were pathetic and she was the only one who could have known about all that stuff. She also did not see the severity of the situation, laughing at it and taking it lightly, though i was FAR from a laugh-y mood, refusing to take any responsibility in the matter or help out, or to even TALK about seriously without changing the topic to other crap.
meanwhile, there's Y. Y was pissed off at X's doing. Y was all 'why are you still talking to her?' and giving me all sorts of shit for it. Y always claims to understand me and get me like no-one else does. but when the time comes for Y to demonstrate his SUPERIOR UNDERSTANDING, Y shows off just exactly how self-centered and fickle he can be. As i recently found out, Y has been lying to me. I can't exactly consider it lying, though. It's complicated. lets call it 'implied lying'. also, i have heard many things about Y. Not good things. I feel rather betrayed and hurt by these actions, though for the sake of privacy, i shall refrain from going into detail in my blog.
anyway, Y refuses to see the rational in me wanting to believe my best friend in the world when she says she did not do anything. wtf. instead, Y gets angry at ME, as if this whole giant mess is MY fault. lately, Y's amazing powers of understanding have really come to light. yesterday, Y got mad at me for wanting to sleep early so that i would not be totally sapped of energy on my first day of school.
Now, if that isn't the LEAST bit self-centered, i don't know what is. Y has been a good friend, though, no denying that. but what is really frustrating is the fact that he's pitching me against one of my closest friends ever. Also, i am rather fed up with the treatment Y gives me, being sweet and nice whenever there is something in it for him, otherwise choosing to ignore me.
in other news, I AM SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE DIRT BY SO MANY OF MY 'FRIENDS'. okay, i am going to give myself some credit and consider myself a nice person. i barely ever get mad at someone or throw fits, i dont ask for alot, i am generally complaint and i give in to what others want, i do alot for other people, (from buying you your meals in breaktime, to getting in trouble for taking your blame, lending you money, buying you presents, all that and more) and i dont totally try to make everyone feel like lowly shit around my ankles.
I AM SO SICK OF ALWAYS BEING INSULTED BY YOU PEOPLE. YOU ALWAYS TAKE ME FORGRANTED. YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M FREAKING LOADED, LIKE I HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD TO SPEND ON YOU. WHENEVER I DO SOMETHING FOR YOU, ITS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH. DO I EVEN HEAR A BLOODY THANK YOU? NO NO NO NO FUCKING NO! YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK THAT I'M GOING TO SAY YES AND WHEN I DO SAY NO (yeah, i actually do say no. shockshockshock whats THISSSS?? bekah saying NO????) YOU TAKE IT THAT I'M BEING A BITCH. AND I DO NOT EXPECT FAVOURS IN RETURN, BUT I WOULD LIKE A LITTLE RESPECT AND MAYBE JUST SOME GRATITUDE. WHENEVER I DO NEED SOMETHING EVER SO BADLY, AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR EVERYBODY, YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??
so yeah. fuck me. fuck rebekah. who needs her.
i'm going to go be a hermit until i can actually find a friend who's actually half decent. cheers to hermit-ism.
note: i am not saying that all my friends are total dickheads. no really, some of you are great. its just happens that the majority of my people out there are just. ARGH. no colette, you're not a bitch. yes i know you're going to ask. :P
while i'm on the topic of sucky friends, i would like to give credit to some amazing friends i've had who've been totally cool. COLETTE, IJAZ, NAZ, KIYOSHI, EMMA, KAREN, DANI, EHSAN, JUSTIN, ALVIN, LIZ. yeah, i dont know some of you that well, but nevermind that. you've been just awesome. thanks guys you rock. :)
yeah, besides them, there are some other awesome people out there who've been left out. thousands of apologies. if i've left you out and you think you are WORTHY, let me know and i'll update it. otherwise, get an attitude makeover.
yeah rebekah loves you oh so much. peace out.
